Why Admissions Essays are Good for Teens

I dislike the intense pressure NYC 8th grade students undergo as they apply to high schools—but I also believe that writing admissions essays requires them to grow in new and important ways.

That said, I so often hear from parents (also undergoing a great deal of stress) that their 8th grader…

➡️ has never written a personal essay and doesn't know where to start.

➡️ hates writing and is very resistant to this process.

➡️ refuses help from a parent no matter how qualified, well-intended, and potentially very insightful!

For these reasons and more, admissions essays can ramp up stress for families of NYC 8th graders...and have developed a bad rap.

But as a writing coach, I get to witness the value of these essays—how they provide a rich and rare opportunity for teens to both grow as writers and make meaning from their experiences.​

Below, I explore two great examples of successful admissions essays—along with what I loved about them so much, and how the student experienced meaning in the writing process, too.

Example Excerpt #1

A couple years ago, a 12-year-old student wrote a wonderful essay about his Gowanus neighborhood—including this excerpt about an older Brooklyn neighbor:​

When it was warm, Phil always sat outside talking to people. [His dog] Professor was always curled up by the leg of Phil's chair, but when people came to talk to Phil, he would rest his head through the fence so he could be pet. I always loved walking by Phil’s house and talking to him and petting the Professor. Sadly, Phil died a year or so ago and the neighborhood isn’t the same without him.

Why this excerpt stands out:

✏️ This experience was meaningful for this student (who originally came to me "hating" writing). He was able to put words to an experience that was no doubt tender, moving, and impactful. Moreover, this student discovered his ability to write with humor (see the “killer cat” note below!), and came to understand that there is more than just grammar to good writing. He focused on voice and ideas first, then later focused on the other four writing traits: organization, sentence fluency, word choice, and conventions.*

*Granted, this was in part because he had a writing coach pointing these things out—but when a student really engages with this task (with or without a coach), the potential to discover meaning within it is tremendous!

✏️ This essay sounds like an 8th grader wrote it. Not a parent. Not a tutor. An 8th grader! I love to see it—and so do high schools. The essay is full of voice—specific observations about Phil and his dog, Professor. One earlier section of the essay shared an anecdote about a local bodega's "killer cat" and the grudge it held against the student. It was hilarious and voice-driven personal writing that only the student could have written.

✏️ The most important factors in successful admissions essays are authentic voice, self-reflection, and effort—all of which this essay has in spades!

🎉🎉🎉This essay earned this student entry into the highly competitive LREI—and it was entirely in his young, often hilarious, and genuinely observant voice.

Example Excerpt #2

Another 8th grade student wrote about his beloved Bronx neighborhood and a research paper that made a big impact on him. Here's his outstanding opening paragraph:

When I walk down a block in my neighborhood, I am one note in the rhythm of the South Bronx. I notice “Distrust” written in graffiti on the side of a building. I hear Jay-Z blasting from the people partying at the corner bodega, and we are all moving to the music. This is the birth place of hip-hop. Hip-hop was created in the South Bronx during the 1970s and people used it to share political messages about class struggle and discrimination. I know this because, in seventh grade, I worked on a research paper for six months where I dove into the history of hip-hop.

Why this excerpt stands out:

✏️ This student had a naturally poetic voice and strong writing skills. Much of our coaching work was about encouraging him to embrace that voice and find confidence using it—and it's a big part of what makes the essay shine.

✏️ Writing this essay also reconnected this student to his passion for both the Bronx and hip-hop itself. It provided an opportunity for deep reflection and meaning-making.

🎉🎉🎉 This student had a not-great lottery number, yet got into the Beacon waitlist—and was eventually accepted!